Monkey vs Man

A month and a half ago if you had said I was dumber than a monkey I would have been offended, upset, possibly even angry! However, today I would simply drop my head and whimper, "I know". For six days in a row now our 'pet' monkey has broken into the house and stolen something. Despite the heat whenever we hear the children cry out "monos" we all head for the windows and doors to close them so we don't get an unwanted house guest.

However, our monkey is not easily put off! He tears open screens, pushes open sliding glass doors, and opens windows...he knows we have bananas and he's determined he's going to have some...and he usually does. This morning I was at the computer and Joyce was heading upstairs to put away some clothes...she closed the kitchen door and window and headed up. I was busily typing away when I heard the kids yell, "Bob, monos...chocolate!" That didn't make sense to me so I just kept typing, but they yelled to me again. Annoyed, I got up to see what the deal was and I saw an entire bag of ChocoCrispies spilled on the cement in front of the washing machine, and up in the yard sat 'our' monkey with a BOWL OF BANANAS! Turns out Joyce closed the kitchen window, but failed to LOCK it so our friend simply pushed the window aside and silently crept into the kitchen and fled with his spoils.

This monkey teases me...if I have nothing in my hand he allows me to get just out of arm's reach so I can't swat him. If I step closer he runs a few steps, sits down, stares at me and chatters as if to say, "what are you going to do now." If I have a pole or stick he runs to the back of the yard, If I have a stone he climbs a tree. He has defeated me and he knows it...how do you think that sets in my craw?

I am on a monkey kill mission...pray for me that I don't get arrested and receive a sentence like having to feed the monkeys daily...I feel kind of like the captain in Mutiny of the Bounty as he sat on the witness stand rolling marbles in his hand muttering, "...it's the strawberries, it's the strawberries..." only with me I mutter, " ...it's the monkey, it's the monkey."

Going Bananas,

Bob